The Life of a Nice Person

When we judge ourselves to have taken the high road, made right choices, been a good person, and our lives fall apart, a common reaction is to think, "How could this happen to ME?" As children we learned to behave well so that bad things wouldn't happen to us, and suddenly the world no longer operates that way! Being a grown-up isn't all it's cracked up to be, is it?

Part of becoming mature is finding a degree of acceptance of life as it is, rather than focusing on how it could have been or should have been. This isn't so easy. Believing in God can make it easier or harder, depending on your train of thought. If you think, "God, I'm one of your kids; how could you let this happen to me? I thought you loved me," faith makes it harder. You tend to stay stuck in that spin cycle of "why-me-not-me-God, how-could-you?" You are operating on the false assumption that believers get some sort of special gate pass to an easier road than everyone else.

Unfortunately, there is no golden ticket to a fun trip through our earth life. Being "good" or "nice" is not some sort of protective suit that deflects enemy attacks. While it's fun to imagine we have that kind of power, that's all it is, wishful thinking. In the real world, being nice or good does not buy us a charmed life. Can you accept that? This is one of those "childish things" I Corinthians could refer to that we have to lay aside in order to grow up.

This is how I would go about it. I would go to God and just lay myself open before him, the good the bad and the ugly: admit my childish thinking and expectations, admit that I don't want to give them up, admit that I hold the tiniest bit of resentment against him--OK then if we're being completely honest here, a considerable amount of resentment!, and I would go ahead and whine, yell, cry and throw my tantrum. When I had said it all, I would feel my helplessness and sadness, and I would also feel his tenderness toward me. I would give it all to him and let him enfold me in his arms of love. And I would rest there. That's when being a person of faith makes it easier.

What God Wants for You

It has been said that a life watered by the tears of tragedy and suffering often becomes the most fertile soil for spiritual growth. Decades after his own brothers sold him into slavery, Joseph was able to say to them, "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done." (Gen. 50:20)

Can you say that? If not, I encourage you to press in closer to the One who intends only good toward you, and has the power to redeem and restore and transform anything. As we pray more, immerse ourselves further in prayer, seek out others who have emerged from tragedy and disaster stronger and wiser and happier, we can grow out of feeling victimized and into triumph by His Spirit. I've been there, and I know.

So if you are not there yet, and despair of ever getting there, be encouraged. There is life, full and lovely, on the other side of whatever you've been through. Believe it!

(For more on recovering from trauma, you might want to check out Welcome to the Fresh-Squeezed Life Cafe. You can find it on Amazon. It is a guide to journal your way to wellness, both emotional and spiritual.)

Happy New Year

I have some thoughts to share with you heading into this new year 2011, and some great quotes. I think it's going to be a wonderful year, yet the unknown sometimes scares us. We want to know, and we don't. "No one knows what the next year will bring, but one thing is sure. He will be with us and He is enough" (Amy Carmichael).

Whatever losses we may have experienced already or are anxious about in our future, it's time to let go. It's always time to let go! We have a hard time with this, and so we have to do it over and over again. We can't change anything by clutching at things or people, but it doesn't stop us from trying! My favorite quote on letting go: "If you lose your reason, lose it into the hands of God. It's the only place where anything is safe" (Elizabeth Goudge, The Scent of Water). I have often made substitutions: If you lose your children, lose them into the hands of God. If you lose your joy, lose it into the hands of God. For me, this act of letting go produces peace, as I re-orient myself once again to the fact that God can be trusted when all else cannot. There is tremendous comfort and power in letting go purposefully, letting go--not that what you love will be released untethered into the vast darkness of endless space, but rather--into the safety of God's love and wisdom and timing.

And finally: "I said to the man at the gate of the year, 'Give me a light that I may go forth into the unknown.' And the man replied, 'Put your hand into the hand of God. That shall be to you better than a light, safer than a known way.'" (King George)

We are on a sort of safari into the wilds of our own lives. The crucial thing is to stay close to our Guide, and follow His map. He is the one that gets us through safely. He is the one who can be trusted.

What God Says

Whatever is in your past, whatever challenges or disasters have plagued you in this past year or years, as we close out 2010, stop listening to despairing thoughts and fearful refrains. Listen instead to what God says:

"But this is a people plundered and looted; they are all of them trapped in holes and hidden in prisons; they have become plunder with none to rescue, spoil with none to say,

'Restore!'"

Isa. 42:22

"But forget all that...It is nothing compared to what I am going to do.

For I am about to do something new.

See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?

I will make a pathway through the wilderness.

I will create rivers in the dry wasteland."

Isa. 43:18,19

"Nothing is impossible with God."

Lk. 1:37

Nothing!

If I Could Just Understand!

Not understanding what's happening, and why, is one of the hardest challenges we face in life. When something goes wrong, we immediately want to know, "Why?" If we can't figure it out, it can be hard to recover, and it can be hard to let go of pain and sadness.

The thing is, God doesn't always tell us why; in fact, he usually doesn't. His thinking is so different from ours. He says, "Trust in me with all your heart, and don't depend on your own understanding." (Pr. 3:5)

When we finally manage to relinquish control of our lives, when we relax into him with trust and faith, we can also give up the quest to understand everything. "Since the Lord is directing our steps, why try to understand everything that happens along the way?" (Pr. 20:24)

"What will become of any of us? I mean, tell me honestly, Dora. Did you ever imagine that this would be your life?" (Caroline in The Memory Keeper's Daughter, by Kim Edwards.

Have you ever felt like that, shell-shocked by life, wondering how some tornado had been able to swoop down, pick you up and set you stunned and reeling in the Land of Oz? I have.

Look around, even here, for the Tree of Life. Pick its fruit, for from it comes fresh-squeezed Life. There is nothing like it. Sometimes it tastes like lemon juice, I'll admit, but you can trust it, for the One who puts it before you here in this alien land is eminently trustworthy.

This is the One of whom is said, "The Word became flesh and blood, and moved into the neighborhood. We saw the glory with our own eyes, the one-of-a-kind glory; like Father, like Son, Generous inside and out, true from start to finish. John pointed him out and called, "This is the One!" (from John 1, THE MESSAGE)

This is the one I call "As Real As Apples."

New Book: Welcome to the Fresh-Squeezed Life Cafe

If you are looking for the book, Welcome to the Fresh-Squeezed Life Cafe, by Brynn Taylor Ashford, put in the author's name as a search term, and check out the online bookstores listed; you will find the best current price for the book.

If you have read the book and you liked it, please take the time to leave a review on the site where you purchased it!

Fresh-Squeezed Life

Life springs full tilt and joyous; with astonishing speed and verve, the new lambs fly upward.

Life, in all its juicy sweetness, life, full of promises, bursting green and luscious.

You can't have oil without the crushing, the pressing. Out of all that squeezing comes LIFE.

Speak Life. You can never have too much.

(Above quotes taken from As Real As Apples, a book of Brynn Taylor Ashford's poetry due out soon. c. 2010 First Poet Press)

Courage

"Whatever you do, you need courage. There is always someone to tell you, you are wrong. To map out a course of action, and follow it to an end, requires some of the same courage which a soldier needs." (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

Drink Life!

Whatever your occupation may be and however crowded your hours with affairs, do not fail to secure at least a few minutes every day for refreshment of your inner life.

(Charles Eliot Norton)

Drink Life!

The Book Goes to the Printer!

Today a few last-minute revisions were handled over the phone, and I faxed the galley and cover approvals to the publisher. The book should go to the printer by the end of this week, and within 2-3 weeks Welcome to the Fresh-Squeezed Life Cafe will be available.

Somehow I managed to do my part to make this happen, despite my design consultant leaving my publisher as of today, my car battery going dead, prevailing on two different neighbors to buy and use jumper cables to get me started, the office store Staples for the second time in a row being unable to successfully fax my forms to the publisher, my neighbor letting me use her home office fax machine to get the forms in today, driving around and leaving my car running while I ran into various auto parts stores to see if they would replace my battery, and a family member having emergency surgery. All this happened today: We just never know what kind of a day we're going to have, do we? (Surgery went well.)

Life has probably squeezed you, today, too, in small ways--and for some of you, in big ways. Maybe nothing was tied up and brought to a nice close, and your mind is not at ease. Maybe you're unhappy with the way you handled things. Take a deep breath. And another. Close your eyes and imagine God's hand reaching down to you, to pick you up, to stroke your hair, whatever you need. You are imagining the real, not the imaginary; He really loves you. He wants to give you beauty where you've had only ashes. There is good stuff ahead. Wait for it!

Fill in the Blanks! How would you finish this sentence?

You know you're being squeezed by life when

What is Fresh-Squeezed?

I want to know what you think of when you hear the term, "Fresh-Squeezed Life." Send me your definitions. Be as creative as you can. Make it funny or thoughtful, long or short, just make it yours. I'm looking forward to hearing from you. I'm going to put all the ideas posted between now and date of publication into a juice glass. When the book (same title as this blog) comes out (some time in the next month or two), the definition I pull out at random wins a free book. Come on, give it a try!